Released
No longer controlled, I feel like a wild fire... spreading, beaming, full of energy and life. The days of shedding tears are long over, The puppeteers have fallen. I am in control now, I am my own person. I can breathe, I can think... I am fully alive. I have finally settled into a place to call my own. Jones Lake, Moncton New Brunswick... Sure, the weather is colder... of course it would be, living near water ALWAYS makes the winters more unbearable, but inside my home, I am safe and warm, and loved. That should be all that matters... to be loved,to feel safe,important,secure.. Every night I wrap my arms around my son,kiss his forehead and remind him he is loved, then I tuck him into sleep, say a silent prayer and remind myself of how wonderful life now is. I sometimes still feel that if I close my eyes too long and drift into a sleep, that I will wake up and be back in Quesnel, back to feeling trapped in heartache and disapointment, self loathing.. homesick... like I don't belon