Butterfly, fly away.

I am flying in about 10 hours, and have to awake in 6 1/2...
oddly enough, I'm sleepy, I'm not nervous... anxious,yes.. but I believe nervousness is something associated with fear and uncertaincy...
Never in my life have I been so certain,so confident, so sure of something.

Like a butterfly, breaking from the self enclosement, the walls are finally down, my hardened cucoon made of fear, is finally crumbled and I am perched on that very branch, about to take flight into the sky, rising like the morning sun.

You'll notice I use a lot of metaphores, but I believe that's a good thing... to hold onto things and let them symbolize a change in your life.
I am making changes. I had  fortune cookie earlier that said " money will come to you when you make the right choices"
well, my Aunt sent me the money to get a flight ticket, to escape this nightmare caused by a bitter,hateful family... i made the right choice by asking for help, by asking to be heard.

Emotional,verbal,mental abuse by my own family... that's something that I don't think anyone should ever have to face, however when it happens ; the best thing you can do is stand your ground, be heard, and be strong.

The only nervous part of the whole trip will be when I land, arrive in the airport of my home town and see my long time friend, embrace him and share our first kiss, marking the beginning of a new chapter in my life, a new relationship that was long overdue.

so I may not have a carriage and horse to deliver me to my prince charming, but who knows... this could be my happily ever after that I've been waiting my whole life for.

The only thing bothering me is that I must hope and pray that my 2 year old son does NOT make a poopy diaper while we're on the plane!
If I can time things properly, I will be able to change his diaper every time we stop for our connecting flight.
airplane bathrooms are kind of scary, It's just aa vacum chamber over .... i don't know, hmm thousands of feet in the air?!

But I won't worry,  if it does happen I'll just have to deal with it.

i don't even feel the slightest bit of regret or sadness in leaving this town, my so called "friends" or even my own family.

I feel that I am reborn again, with a son and a loving Aunt who is freeing me.
she's more of a mother than I ever had anyways, so why not start over?
Why not believe that I am re-born? because inside I feel that I am given a new life, a second chance... something that, several months ago ... I could only dream of.

So I'm off to eat my chocolate turtles and lindt irish cream truffles, and then snoring I shall be, to check out of the womens house, pack my luggage and son, and away we go.

freedom at last. what a beautiful,peaceful feeling. <3

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