Flying out of the web.
The poison is drained.
No longer will I EVER feel the pain of abuse again.
I am still here.... but I stand differently than I ever have before.
Perched on the tallest branch of the tallest tree, my wings are spread farther than ever.
I now soar weightlessly, freely, without fear.
I fly through new territory, facing what I never could.
I have adapted, evolved into something beautiful, strong, and finally... free.
see, this butterfly with a runaway heart had flown... flown from the cocoon on a high, breaking branch, flown into a dangerous territory, flown back to the broken cocoon, and fell... right into the poisonous spider's web. But, I fluttered my wings, and refused to fall victim again. I am flying, I am soaring... and I will NEVER be trapped again.
It's such a touchy subject that people don't talk about it much, especially women.
But let's face a very REAL fact here, abuse is NOT always physically visible.
calling someone names, swearing at them, shouting in someones face, threatening them... that is ALL abuse. It damages a person's confidence, self esteem and way of thinking. It's just like bullying.
Manipulation, guilt tripping... they are types of emotional abuse.
these, plus many other types of attacks, were the parts of the web that I got stuck in. That spider being my ex boyfriend, and the poison being his manipulation.
He was the ultimate master of mind games, perfecting every move, and always being a step ahead of me.
manipulating not only me, but the situation around me, and EVERYONE who knew me.
he tried to turn my entire family against me, and has an army of supporters in his home town who have said terrible things to me before.
consider this a wake up call.
It is NEVER okay for your significant other to call you a bitch,slut,whore,skank,tramp,sleaze,trashy ho, cunt,liar, ugly, manipulative, stupid, brainwashed,idiot, neanderthal,garbage,dirt,useless,worthless,pathetic, joke.... NEVER! It is also NEVER okay for your significant other to lay their hands upon your throat and scream in your face while pinning you to the floor. It is also Non-justifiable.
There is NEVER a reason EVER that makes it okay.
It is NEVER okay for your significant other to snap at your child and rudely, harshly say "NO!" for no reason. It is NEVER okay for your significant other to ignore your child and only discipline them, especially if they are not the parent. it is NEVER okay for your significant other to try and control your child's behaviour or lifestyle. it is NEVER okay for your significant other to tell your child they are stupid. NEVER.
it is NEVER okay for your significant other to blackmail you, threatening to take your child away.
it is NEVER okay for your significant other to LIE and say your child's safety was at risk ( he tried to say my child was unsupervised and almost fell out a 2 story window , which is a well known lie )
it is NEVER okay for your significant other to get everyone involved in your arguements, and make your family hate you.
|
IT IS ALWAYS acceptable, okay and seriously, the BEST option to LEAVE the relationship.
however, it is NEVER easy.
I got help from a women's shelter, they took me and my son in for the night, and since I was the only one with a key to the apartment, my abusive ex was unable to enter our home.
I had the message passed down to him that I was sick of being abused. He scoffed and said he never hit me. Abuse is NOT just someone being beaten up or raped. Abuse is someone being put down emotionally, being made to feel like shit, being made to feel like a useless failure.
He had me so broken down.... that I thought I was undeserving of love, happiness, my child, a relationship, a job... support, even my own family.
My mother... God, how I owe so much to her... she read my diary entries, because I left my diary open one day, in plain view.... and I did it purposely... and she read it. She read the entries that said everything is my fault, that I am a failure, that my abusive ex was always right. That I should just listen to him and change and be the girl he wants me to be.
She was my voice. She told me it was time to leave, time to get out of this abusive cycle.
And that's exactly what I did...
it's been a month since I left him, and he is now back in his hometown living with his mother.
He contacted me to tell me he made it safely when flying, and that he may be getting a job, that is the last time we spoke.
I am finally looking in the mirror and seeing beauty,strength,confidence, happiness and freedom.
I finally see ME again... and god, how i've missed her.
I finally see my wings, and I realize that I now know where it is I'm headed..
towards a bright, happy future.
never again will I let a poisonous spider get in my way of that.
No longer will I EVER feel the pain of abuse again.
I am still here.... but I stand differently than I ever have before.
Perched on the tallest branch of the tallest tree, my wings are spread farther than ever.
I now soar weightlessly, freely, without fear.
I fly through new territory, facing what I never could.
I have adapted, evolved into something beautiful, strong, and finally... free.
see, this butterfly with a runaway heart had flown... flown from the cocoon on a high, breaking branch, flown into a dangerous territory, flown back to the broken cocoon, and fell... right into the poisonous spider's web. But, I fluttered my wings, and refused to fall victim again. I am flying, I am soaring... and I will NEVER be trapped again.
It's such a touchy subject that people don't talk about it much, especially women.
But let's face a very REAL fact here, abuse is NOT always physically visible.
calling someone names, swearing at them, shouting in someones face, threatening them... that is ALL abuse. It damages a person's confidence, self esteem and way of thinking. It's just like bullying.
Manipulation, guilt tripping... they are types of emotional abuse.
these, plus many other types of attacks, were the parts of the web that I got stuck in. That spider being my ex boyfriend, and the poison being his manipulation.
He was the ultimate master of mind games, perfecting every move, and always being a step ahead of me.
manipulating not only me, but the situation around me, and EVERYONE who knew me.
he tried to turn my entire family against me, and has an army of supporters in his home town who have said terrible things to me before.
consider this a wake up call.
It is NEVER okay for your significant other to call you a bitch,slut,whore,skank,tramp,sleaze,trashy ho, cunt,liar, ugly, manipulative, stupid, brainwashed,idiot, neanderthal,garbage,dirt,useless,worthless,pathetic, joke.... NEVER! It is also NEVER okay for your significant other to lay their hands upon your throat and scream in your face while pinning you to the floor. It is also Non-justifiable.
There is NEVER a reason EVER that makes it okay.
It is NEVER okay for your significant other to snap at your child and rudely, harshly say "NO!" for no reason. It is NEVER okay for your significant other to ignore your child and only discipline them, especially if they are not the parent. it is NEVER okay for your significant other to try and control your child's behaviour or lifestyle. it is NEVER okay for your significant other to tell your child they are stupid. NEVER.
it is NEVER okay for your significant other to blackmail you, threatening to take your child away.
it is NEVER okay for your significant other to LIE and say your child's safety was at risk ( he tried to say my child was unsupervised and almost fell out a 2 story window , which is a well known lie )
it is NEVER okay for your significant other to get everyone involved in your arguements, and make your family hate you.
|
IT IS ALWAYS acceptable, okay and seriously, the BEST option to LEAVE the relationship.
however, it is NEVER easy.
I got help from a women's shelter, they took me and my son in for the night, and since I was the only one with a key to the apartment, my abusive ex was unable to enter our home.
I had the message passed down to him that I was sick of being abused. He scoffed and said he never hit me. Abuse is NOT just someone being beaten up or raped. Abuse is someone being put down emotionally, being made to feel like shit, being made to feel like a useless failure.
He had me so broken down.... that I thought I was undeserving of love, happiness, my child, a relationship, a job... support, even my own family.
My mother... God, how I owe so much to her... she read my diary entries, because I left my diary open one day, in plain view.... and I did it purposely... and she read it. She read the entries that said everything is my fault, that I am a failure, that my abusive ex was always right. That I should just listen to him and change and be the girl he wants me to be.
She was my voice. She told me it was time to leave, time to get out of this abusive cycle.
And that's exactly what I did...
it's been a month since I left him, and he is now back in his hometown living with his mother.
He contacted me to tell me he made it safely when flying, and that he may be getting a job, that is the last time we spoke.
I am finally looking in the mirror and seeing beauty,strength,confidence, happiness and freedom.
I finally see ME again... and god, how i've missed her.
I finally see my wings, and I realize that I now know where it is I'm headed..
towards a bright, happy future.
never again will I let a poisonous spider get in my way of that.
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