Unopened Letter

Dearest Mother... you'll never read this.
You'll never know the things that which I feel towards you..
because you do not care.

Dearest Mother, I started a blog over 2 years ago, reaching out and writing about the emotional abuse that I had gone through, and all my struggles with mental stability and illness.
Dearest Mother, I have checked my blog, and wrote about you several times, I never wrote about how you scream at me all the time, how I can never please you, how I go into the bathroom and cry, how I feel like we're total strangers.

Dearest Mother, I am proud of myself.
You will never know. You will never know that I have over 3 thousand fans, because you do not care.
You do not listen, you do not understand.
Dearest Mother, I have a job now, and though it may not be much ; I am proud to be working, I am proud to be doing something productive, I am proud to have income to raise my son with.
You do not care.

Dearest Mother, I am sore and tired from working, I am mentally exhausted from our screaming matches, I am emotionally broken from the lack of love you show me. I write about it, I let it all out for everyone to see on my blog, and it inspires others, it reaches out to other people going through the same thing.
Mother, I've changed the lives of THREE THOUSAND AND FOUR HUNDRED PEOPLE!
I am doing something amazing, and I've put my heart and soul into it.

I wish you could be proud of me, I wish you could wrap your arms around me and tell me that I'm doing a great job, that I inspire you, that my blog is great, that you're happy I am doing something financially.
I wish you could take off your blinders, I wish you could learn to love me.

But you need to love yourself.
You need to open up.
You need to be awake inside.
You need to learn that things have changed.
You need to read this from my point of view.
But you never will.
You'll leave this as an unopened letter.

Dearest Mother, despite the way you always treat me like garbage, despite that you always talk badly about me, always complain about how I don't do things the way you think they should be done, despite that I am trying very hard to help you, despite that I cry after the awful things you say to me...

I still love you, and I still have hope that you will change.