Forever Rambling about nonsense

I know I haven't been saying much on here lately, and trust me... I do feel awful about it.
so here it goes.

I've been surrounding myself with work, and by work I mean that I've basically been sucking up to my boss because apparently if one little thing goes wrong, I face being fired. ( yay... not)
I've been trying to distract myself as much as possible because I've left a complicated relationship, yet again.
This was a while back but like I said, I haven't had the chance to get on here lately.

I made a close connection with a wonderful friend and I now have to say goodbye for an uncertain amount of time, as he is moving to a different province... and honestly, it has me torn.
Who will I laugh with? Who will I talk to at 3am? Who is going for sit with me until the sun comes up watching Jurassic Park or Beavis and Butthead ? I feel like all great things in life are temporary at this moment in time.

I must make myself happy somehow, and I'm not completely certain how to do that.
Not that I'm becoming an emotional leech (see previous entry for reference )

I just feel as though for now I must surround myself with positive people in order to stay uplifted... it's like my own happiness just won't kickstart on its own.

I am trying to focus on the things that matter in life and I find myself focusing on working myself past exhaustion, just to make money that has to go towards the viscous cycle of bills, I sleep so that I can have enough energy to exhaust myself at work :/ and then to top it all off : my days off are spent being lazy or practically begging someone to hang out with me just so that I can feel uplifted and cheerful again.

Work is a part of life, but it drains the life out of people.
I need to find that balance, and when I do : I will have more positive things to blog about, I promise.

And one day, I shall have hearing aids so that I can hear what people flirtatiously mutter under their breaths at me, because that's something that has happened a few times now (At work, nontheless) and due to being partly deaf, I cannot hear them!

I need to build my confidence, and having a hearing disability doesn't help.
Maybe that's why I'm so moody lately haha!

anyhow, more happier things later, I promise.

xoxo, The Forever Runaway Heart <3

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