The Original Runaway Heart

If you've ever entered to win numerous prizes via random ballot and haven't ever won, you're not alone. Online contests feel like they're all fakes! I mean, how many people do we actually know who've ever won the $1,000 sweepsakes or the valuable goodies bag? The one thing that is usually legit is samples. I've been adamantly searching for free samples of well, everything imaginable for the past 4 hours or so, give or take. I've gotten samples of all sorts of baby products and very,very few samples of beauty products. It's funny how baby items are the easiest thing to get for free. I just find it frustrating! all the typing and clicking just to find out that over half of these pages are fakes, or that you have to pay shipping and handling fees for something that is supposed to be "free". Free means no paying, no credit card info and no freaking surveys!!! Sorry, I had to rant about that.

Finally things are starting to make sense to me. There is an order in the Universe and when you disrupt it... things get ugly. I'm meant to be a single mum. (sorry for not updating, I've got a baby girl due in September!) I think I'm supposed to go through certain things alone, and when I challenge the Universe ; It makes me see things more clearly. It doesn't make my life harder, per se. It makes me go through difficult things so that I can see clear. Boy do I ever see clearly. I will be moving out of that awful apartment building for once and for all, I will have my son back in my custody (long story short, I have full rights to him but he is in care of a family member) I will be doing my psychological evaluation, I will be taking action in terms of my mental health and you know what? I'm not even the least bit scared anymore. Being alone used to terrify me because it meant admitting that there was something wrong. It meant admitting that I couldn't actua