Bright New Day



Finally things are starting to make sense to me.
There is an order in the Universe and when you disrupt it... things get ugly.

I'm meant to be a single mum. (sorry for not updating, I've got a baby girl due in September!)

I think I'm supposed to go through certain things alone, and when I challenge the Universe ; It makes me see things more clearly. It doesn't make my life harder, per se. It makes me go through difficult things so that I can see clear.

Boy do I ever see clearly.
I will be moving out of that awful apartment building for once and for all, I will have my son back in my custody (long story short, I have full rights to him but he is in care of a family member)
I will be doing my psychological evaluation, I will be taking action in terms of my mental health and you know what? I'm not even the least bit scared anymore.
Being alone used to terrify me because it meant admitting that there was something wrong. It meant admitting that I couldn't actually control my own happiness. I needed to use someone else as a source. Now, Now I realize that I need to be that source, that I need to find inner happiness or I won't be able to do anything else. Being alone now, means that I have freedom, I can get to know my emotions SO much better this way because my emotions and thoughts are not being altered by how my day went, according to a relationship.
Now I have clear insight. I don't have to worry about if my partner likes the townhouse I'm interested in moving into, I don't have to worry about whether or not he likes the wallpaper or decor. To hell with that! I get to pick EVERYTHING that is around me, EVERYTHING that I do, when I do it, how I do it. AND I LOVE IT!


It's a bright, beautiful new day and I'm feelin' good <3

Xoxo, The growing up heart

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