lots of rambles and rantings, poetry and everything in between.
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Hey guys! So I'm trying my best to keep blogging via the Blogger app, but it won't let me publish anything!!! I'll try my best to be back on here asap xoxo-TORH
Love is making me crazy.. this "breakup" is making me insane... I am at a crossroads. Lately, it feels as if I'm love/hate itself, I don't portray the actions, I AM the actions. I am hate.. I am rage, anger, bitterness. venom for words, spitting on the cold hard truths, just to bear pain on those who listen. I am love. I am kindness,warmth,laughter,joy,care. Sweet melodies for words, sugary syrup dripping from my mouth as I promise sweetness to those who listen. I can't be the hero AND the villain. But most days, it feels as if I am. I'm kind, giving, generous... Then I try to protect myself, and become evil and vindictive and conniving. I think my self defense mechanisms are acting up. A few of the rotors are jammed. I am trying so hard to heal from a broken relationship, but I keep chasing after it. Like a junkie, trying to scrape that last pill out of the bottle, only to watch it fall down the drainpipe... grasping,clawing,begging for it. H...
"This is Ground Control to Major Tom You've really made the grade And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear Now it's time to leave the capsule if you dare" I feel that there is going to be a major communication error about to take place very, very soon. You see, progress is finally being made after several years of feeling abandoned and stuck in one place. We've finally got movement and contact, I am no longer drifting in space entirely alone. Something is out there and it wants to help. "for here, am I sitting in a tin can, far above the world. Planet Earth is blue and there's nothing I can do." The communication error would be that I simply do not know how to translate without the means of poetry or my bizarre metaphors, and perhaps I should try, but maybe not here? Maybe somewhere... fresh. A new ground if I may. See, I have to somehow put into simple words how my mind is uniquely wired and how I am tormented by the operating system...
It has been a bumpy road right from the start, but there has been fire between us all along. Our relationship has been full of all sorts of drama caused by several other people, and has been criticized for the way it all started, but you know what? none of that matters! You love me for who I am... my psychotic rantings and all. I know that it didn't quite start out the way that we think would be idealistic... But I still think the beginning is sweet, so long as we black out a few parts. You know what I'm talking about... It all started with us watching... what was it again? Oh yes, first it was 1. I am legend 2. It follows 3. Silent Hill 2 : Revelation 4. Some of Resident Evil : Retribution We started holding hands through "it follows" ... It all started with you gently running your fingers along the cushion between us, then you picked up a toy forklift or something of that nature, and started rolling it back and forth. I remember you messaging me on facebook ev...
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