What beautiful balloons

My therapist told me a story today...
About something he calls "crazy making" He told me to imagine a man in a shirt that says " I yell because I care."
Bittersweet irony.
Long story short, this man abuses his girlfriend but then buys her balloons stating he got them because he cares so deeply about her and wants her to be happy. She smiles and says they're beautiful. She let her guard down and trusted him for a split second... he strangled and almost killed her afterwards.
It's a story about saying you love someone and hurting them constantly. You give them this false pretense that you care and then you attack that person when they let go and trust you. It's about emotional and mental and sometimes physical abuse. About manipulation and power. How those acts can make someone crazy and irrational and over idealize.
The scary part? He never told me if I was the victim or the person in the tee shirt.
And I'm still trying to figure that one out. Do I give the balloons of false hope and disguise? Or do I accept the balloons as a promise of security and trust?
The scariest part of the story? I don't know who I relate to... I've been hurt and I've caused hurt.
Oh, what beautiful balloons.

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