Running Free
I am humbled... 40,769 views!
I am not entirely certain if I had stated such in any previous entries, but once I reach 50,000 I will start to work on writing a novel... Now, I have absolutely no idea what I want to write about, fiction or non-fiction, fantasy, romance, drama, suspense?
I am certainly not famous enough to write an autobiography, but perhaps I could start writing about my struggles with BPD, since there is still quite a stigma behind it. It is almost taboo to talk about mental health issues and the personal struggles behind such.
Let's end the stigma, one disorder at a time.
I also realize that I have yet to update my lovelies on the new events of my life.
Gosh, I sound self-centered don't I?
Well, here goes.
My electricity got connected, Social Assistance is pressing me to apply for disability.
For my non-Canadian readers : that means that the government gives me something similar to welfare or "benefits" that is guaranteed once a month for either a set amount of years or permanently, I can work while receiving these benefits, so long as I match the monthly amount of the disability cheque, or earn under that quota.
With that said, I am very,very nervous about this. I have to write in a form about my disability and how it affects my daily life.I have to explain my disability to the best of my power and tell my Doctor and the Government why I feel that I am incapable of maintaining employment.
Well, it's easy for me to explain it on here, and it's easy for anyone who knows me to understand... My ongoing struggle with MCFD has made me a very changed person. I become socially withdrawn and moody, I struggle to stick to routine including but not limited to : feeding myself daily, maintaining household cleanliness, visiting friends and family, including my children, I haven't been in therapy for almost 4 months now... and that is something I truly cannot explain.
I don't have the desire to go to therapy anymore... maybe it's because my therapist kept sticking the "BPD" label on every single behavioral trait I have to the disorder. It was never " Oh, well let's talk about why you're like this, and why you think this is acceptable, and let's plan ways to fix this." No, it was always a label being stuck on my forehead, and I often would leave the office with a sinking feeling, I felt like I was a hopeless case.
Not being in therapy and writing in my journal has helped me more than a therapist ever could. Know who judges me???? ME! I judge my behavior and choices and actions. No one else can. I decide what is BPD of me and what is simply, well... me.
Lo and behold ; For I will start a novel soon. Keep reading, keep sharing, keep on being those beautiful, strong beating runaway hearts that you are.
Xoxo, Dev <3
I am not entirely certain if I had stated such in any previous entries, but once I reach 50,000 I will start to work on writing a novel... Now, I have absolutely no idea what I want to write about, fiction or non-fiction, fantasy, romance, drama, suspense?
I am certainly not famous enough to write an autobiography, but perhaps I could start writing about my struggles with BPD, since there is still quite a stigma behind it. It is almost taboo to talk about mental health issues and the personal struggles behind such.
Let's end the stigma, one disorder at a time.
I also realize that I have yet to update my lovelies on the new events of my life.
Gosh, I sound self-centered don't I?
Well, here goes.
My electricity got connected, Social Assistance is pressing me to apply for disability.
For my non-Canadian readers : that means that the government gives me something similar to welfare or "benefits" that is guaranteed once a month for either a set amount of years or permanently, I can work while receiving these benefits, so long as I match the monthly amount of the disability cheque, or earn under that quota.
With that said, I am very,very nervous about this. I have to write in a form about my disability and how it affects my daily life.I have to explain my disability to the best of my power and tell my Doctor and the Government why I feel that I am incapable of maintaining employment.
Well, it's easy for me to explain it on here, and it's easy for anyone who knows me to understand... My ongoing struggle with MCFD has made me a very changed person. I become socially withdrawn and moody, I struggle to stick to routine including but not limited to : feeding myself daily, maintaining household cleanliness, visiting friends and family, including my children, I haven't been in therapy for almost 4 months now... and that is something I truly cannot explain.
I don't have the desire to go to therapy anymore... maybe it's because my therapist kept sticking the "BPD" label on every single behavioral trait I have to the disorder. It was never " Oh, well let's talk about why you're like this, and why you think this is acceptable, and let's plan ways to fix this." No, it was always a label being stuck on my forehead, and I often would leave the office with a sinking feeling, I felt like I was a hopeless case.
Not being in therapy and writing in my journal has helped me more than a therapist ever could. Know who judges me???? ME! I judge my behavior and choices and actions. No one else can. I decide what is BPD of me and what is simply, well... me.
Lo and behold ; For I will start a novel soon. Keep reading, keep sharing, keep on being those beautiful, strong beating runaway hearts that you are.
Xoxo, Dev <3
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