The beast who loves



                               You dared to defy me, and now you must endure my wrath.



So much pain that I have endured... And it's funny, isn't it? I should know better by now.
I should be protecting myself, fearing people and the world they live in, if you truly knew my story : You'd assume such. Here's the strange thing about me, well... one of many strange things about me.
I love the world. I love everyone in it, no matter what pain and chaotic destruction they have done.

I am the type of person to be mesmerized by the beauty of such things that only exist to cause pain. I will naively put my hand in the fire, knowing it will burn me. You can warn me, but I need to experience the pain myself so that I might learn from it.

That handsome Devil I spoke of in earlier rantings? Well, here's a twist.... I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM!. I know, I should be ashamed of myself for foolishly letting myself get that far, but I'm not. I am proud of myself for being able to love something that is broken, cruel, vicious and unloving, cold and unchanging. I thought I was giving him that love selfishly. I thought that I was loving him for my own gain, my own selfish, human greed. I am not. I am loving him with no intentions other than to let him be loved. He can come to terms with that and accept it, or let it be as it is. I choose to continue loving something that is hurting me.

I am too foolish, perhaps. Maybe foolish is the wrong word. Foolish, Naive... it's all the same.
I know it is unwise of me to see the world through a beautiful lens where everything is flawless and innocent. I am capable of seeing through that lens though. I see things how they really are, but I want to give everything the benefit of a doubt. I want to continue loving people, and the world that they are destroying. We can't ALL be horrible.

There is a Kraken, an evil thing deep within me, but I REFUSE to be like so many others and let that hateful, destructive anger unleash. I will not hate anyone even if they have caused me an endless amount of harm, of disappointment and heartache. I simply can't. There is still that glimmer of hope for humanity, that little sparkle in my eyes. I will go on loving, and forgiving, and accepting so long as my runawway heart continues to beat. I will love.

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