Death of personality

I'm dying...

Not in the physical sense.
Mentally, emotionally... I feel like I am slowly decaying.
I have been exploding lately with nothing but pure rage and anger... Absolute hatred and disgust.
It's like it's my body's last defense... An attempt to be triumphant. One last shot at protecting myself.
Too late... I'm already hurting all over.

I can't fight it anymore.
The last little bit of my emotions are being used up. I used up all of my happiness and it's gone.. drained. Dissected from me. Gone. Harvested like a ripe organ for donation.
All that's left in my corpse is the things that no one wants.
Anger, jealousy, depression,anxiety.

Let me die.
I don't want to be this person anymore, I need to let her die.
I need to muster up enough energy to just... force myself to feel again.
I feel like something inside me is missing... like a person with only one kidney.
My happiness has been harvested by my own mind.
I am unstable. unbalanced.

Push comes to shove.
Time to BLAST that defibrillator and bring me back from the dead.
Time to lay on that operating table, and sew myself back together.

Don't grieve over my dead personality...
I will be whole once more.

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