The Original Runaway Heart

As I went walking I smelled something... I smelled the cigarette smoke from a passing car, fresh baked bread from an opening of a family's window, The smelled of crisp leaves that had started decaying on the ground. As I went walking I saw something... I saw a man walking by, casually smiling to himself, I saw children playing in their yard, mothers walking their children down the street, crows perching on a nearby telephone wire. As I went walking I heard something... I heard cars pass by, men telling their wives they loved them, children laughing on a playground, an old man whistling down the road, crows cawing as they flew into the twilight sky. As I went walking I tasted something... I tasted the smokey air of a nearby chimney, the sweet autumn leaves as I breathed through my mouth, the cool dampness of the earth. As I went walking I felt something... I felt the cold of the wind gently tickling my face, the warm sunshine tenderly caressing my cheek, I felt the hap...

I know myself well enough to know when I'm not okay... I'm not okay. I've battled depression for almost 10 years and fought every single year un medicated with minimal therapy to keep it in check. I had a psychological evaluation done not long ago and was told that my depression is gone. I'm no longer depressed... That was during my pregnancy. Now I can't stop feeling like a failure, like a piece of shit parent... I look around my house and see all these photos, teddy bears, blankets and little treasures that remind me I am a mum. I'm a mum without her children. Am I really that awful? Did I really do something to deserve having my children temporarily placed in care? I'm fighting non-stop to get my children back, but while I do that I can't help myself... It's like I need to cry, except today I'm crying for so many reasons that I don't know where to begin. I woke up from a nap feeling like I needed to sleep for 16+ hours, I felt like laying...

I've come to realize that I am not the same person I was a year ago... It sort of hit me hard, because I read my old entries and there are beautiful, poetic metaphors, There are long, sweet, romantic and hopeful entries. Now it's just me rambling on about one thing or another, and yet now I have 17k+ fans. I feel like I've lost that touch with english literature that I used to have. I used to have these sudden moments when I HAD to blog, HAD to get it all out. Now my mind doesn't feel like it's full of beautiful inspiration, it's gotten too simple. I'm looking for that inspiration everywhere but I think it's that my life has gotten so structured, scheduled, routine... There isn't really anything that makes me want to write poetry anymore... poetry was everything to me and now I'd be surprised if I can make two sentences rhyme without making it seem like a child wrote it! Life works in very, very mysterious ways. When I started getting really int...

What hurts me so badly is that every time I've fallen in love it turns out bad. It's not always the relationship that falls apart either, sometimes it's that my family and friends don't approve. They're the one's pulling and pushing. I understand that they care and have concerns, but some of the reasoning for me being entitled "runaway heart" is due to the fact that they push me to leave if there are problems, rather than fix them. To them, there is no fixing it. Let me explain... I am truly,madly,deeply,unconditionally in love with my partner... He is mentally ill. Allow me to also explain ; we just had a child together, and he wasn't there the entire time that we were in the hospital. His condition causes emotional detachment and mood swings that usually result in him not being overly empathetic. He's steadily been taking his medication to help balance himself, but medication for the mentally ill is a crutch, not a Band-Aid. It doesn't ...

Q&A #1 Hey guys! So this new laptop is working wonderfully, it's just the internet connection that seems to be a bit off. Not to worry! we're getting our own internet next week and then we shall be up and running with our wild hearts in no time! <3 I wanted to share this video with you guys because I realized that many of you have been sticking with me from the very beginning and a lot of you are from other countries and have never seen my face or heard my squeaky voice before. I love that you guys have been following every word I type out on here, but there's something more personal in seeing someone even if it's just a video. We currently stand at 17,535 and counting, making an army of runaway hearts. Remember to like,comment, and share like crazy if you like this blog :) You're all amazing <3 and my runaway heart grows even bigger just for you. Xoxo, lots of love!

" This isn't going to be easy, but you're going to get through this... you're a goddamn warrior Queen!" So, I discovered I have a favorite color : purple. I have no idea how many of you are currently reading this right now, but last time I checked there was over 18,000!!!!! Right now I've been going through the hardest heartache I've EVER felt in my life, the most difficult chapter of all. Things are all over the place right now, hence the rightfully named title. So, I realized I don't open up nearly as often as I used to... I will tell you guys the recent developments that have happened in my life, and then I'll get to the hard stuff. My boyfriend and I have had some severely rough patches, but VERY soon we'll be celebrating our one year anniversary! He and I have finally decided to buckle up and just do things together as a team, meaning that we're going to balance things out financially, because I'm sick of being the sole provider w...